The Journey of a Princess

This week showed my first gain - I gained 0.3 kg. I know the end of year office lunch and cake with a friend all contributed to this gain so next week I'll be more cautious.

I remember standing in the shower a few years ago allowing the water to run. I showered not because I needed too but because the sound of the water prevented my kids form hearing my cries of heartache.

Since then I’ve travelled an incredible journey. A journey I would not exchange for anything in life. This journey has compelled me to do some soul searching and find out what my purpose is in life and what makes me happy. It has given me unconceivable meaning to my favourite biblical scripture Philippians 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

A few years ago a special aunt told me if you get married you should always reserve a part of yourself just for you. I thought damn why didn’t you give me this valuable advice years ago.  How many of us get married thinking our Prince has finally arrived and the castle and carriage is awaiting us. We expect our prince to make us happy and create our fairy tale. It is in marriages that princesses so often lose their identities and passions in playing the role of the sweet transformed princess.

When I got married the message I got from society is that good princesses serves their princes’ well. The needs of the prince are their priority and we follow our royal obligations with absolute rigidness. We see that the food is ready, make sure the house is clean, get the kids to school, work in the garden and 10 past five we make sure we look like a movie star for our prince will soon be home. The prince was taught that his major function is to provide for his kingdom financially and that as a prince he should not cry.

I am not saying any of the above is wrong. I still believe that marriage can be wonderful and regard all of the above as acts of love. What I am saying is that so many of us lose track of who we really are once we get married.  Princesses often regard marriage as the ultimate gift in society and in some cases as the most effective plaster for childhood scars. We expect our princes to mend us and make us happy. My daughter recently shared this with me …….

It was while sitting next to my dad at hospital that I finally figured out what life is really about – How short life is and how important it is that you do the things in life that contributes to your happiness. If you are happy you can be a more content human being.  

I have come to realise that I will never be sure what is meant by living a perfect life and I am extremely cautious when anybody thinks they know best how I should live my life. I am therefore hesitant to give guidelines as to what contributes to happiness but do feel as a woman I can share with other women what has empowered me.  

 My journey was not an easy one. It required deep introspection which was painful and exposed my “imperfections”. There were frightening times and times of despair with lots of tears. I made lots of mistakes and often thought I would not make it. However I do not regret any of it. It was these tears and heartache that was the catalyst for looking deeper within myself and providing myself with the tools to create contentment in my life.

Doing some soul searching is never an easy journey. We as princesses are so busy with our rat race that we don’t take the time to really look within ourselves. I challenge you to take this journey. Find out who you really are, not only your character but find out what makes your heart smile, what gives you contentment. Observe how you respond and react to situations and see if you are happy with what you see.  Re-examine your assumptions in life. Look at your circle of friends and family and decide who adds meaning to your life. In the past, I was trying to earn love and was giving so much of myself hoping I would be rewarded with love and support. I have realised it is not always a good idea.  I am sure you will discover there are lots of people who loved you more when you met their needs but when making your needs a priority you are defined as selfish. 

 

So this morning I showered with a song in my heart and awesome feeling of gratitude. I realised I am in this perfect space only by the grace of God. I’m off to India something I’ve dreamed about for years. I’m attending the teachings of one of my heroes, Dalai Lama and will be doing some voluntary work at the Mother Theresa Missionary in Calcutta. I am grateful for having a considerate husband and kids that acknowledge my dreams and affords me opportunities. I have learnt that I do not need to do anything to justify my existence but rather to live the life God wants me to live. We should be nice to ourselves too…. We are all meant to be happy princesses. Someone extremely close to me send me this and I would like to end my post with it.

Have a week filled with love, joy and gratitude.      
Melanie