This week showed my first gain - I gained 0.3 kg. I know the end of year office lunch and cake with a friend all contributed to this gain so next week I'll be more cautious.
I remember standing in the shower a few years ago
allowing the water to run. I showered not because I needed too but because the
sound of the water prevented my kids form hearing my cries of heartache.
Since then I’ve travelled an incredible journey. A journey
I would not exchange for anything in life. This journey has compelled me to do
some soul searching and find out what my purpose is in life and what makes me
happy. It has given me unconceivable meaning to my favourite biblical scripture
Philippians
4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
A few years ago a special aunt told me if you get
married you should always reserve a part of yourself just for you. I thought
damn why didn’t you give me this valuable advice years ago. How many of us get married thinking our
Prince has finally arrived and the castle and carriage is awaiting us. We
expect our prince to make us happy and create our fairy tale. It is in
marriages that princesses so often lose their identities and passions in playing
the role of the sweet transformed princess.
When I got married the message I got from society
is that good princesses serves their princes’ well. The needs of the prince are
their priority and we follow our royal obligations with absolute rigidness. We
see that the food is ready, make sure the house is clean, get the kids to
school, work in the garden and 10 past five we make sure we look like a movie
star for our prince will soon be home. The prince was taught that his major
function is to provide for his kingdom financially and that as a prince he
should not cry.
I am not saying any of the above is wrong. I still
believe that marriage can be wonderful and regard all of the above as acts of
love. What I am saying is that so many of us lose track of who we really are
once we get married. Princesses often
regard marriage as the ultimate gift in society and in some cases as the most
effective plaster for childhood scars. We expect our princes to mend us and
make us happy. My daughter recently shared this with me …….
It was while sitting next to my dad at hospital
that I finally figured out what life is really about – How short life is and
how important it is that you do the things in life that contributes to your
happiness. If you are happy you can be a more content human being.
I have come to realise that I will never be sure
what is meant by living a perfect life and I am extremely cautious when anybody
thinks they know best how I should live my life. I am therefore hesitant to
give guidelines as to what contributes to happiness but do feel as a woman I
can share with other women what has empowered me.
My journey was
not an easy one. It required deep introspection which was painful and exposed
my “imperfections”. There were frightening times and times of despair with lots
of tears. I made lots of mistakes and often thought I would not make it.
However I do not regret any of it. It was these tears and heartache that was
the catalyst for looking deeper within myself and providing myself with the
tools to create contentment in my life.
Doing some soul searching is never an easy journey.
We as princesses are so busy with our rat race that we don’t take the time to
really look within ourselves. I challenge you to take this journey. Find out
who you really are, not only your character but find out what makes your heart
smile, what gives you contentment. Observe how you respond and react to
situations and see if you are happy with what you see. Re-examine your assumptions in life. Look at
your circle of friends and family and decide who adds meaning to your life. In
the past, I was trying to earn love and was giving so much of myself hoping I
would be rewarded with love and support. I have realised it is not always a
good idea. I am sure you will discover
there are lots of people who loved you more when you met their needs but when
making your needs a priority you are defined as selfish.
So this morning I showered with a song in my heart
and awesome feeling of gratitude. I realised I am in this perfect space only by
the grace of God. I’m off to India something I’ve dreamed about for years. I’m
attending the teachings of one of my heroes, Dalai Lama and will be doing some
voluntary work at the Mother Theresa Missionary in Calcutta. I am grateful for
having a considerate husband and kids that acknowledge my dreams and affords me
opportunities. I have learnt that I do not need to do anything to justify my
existence but rather to live the life God wants me to live. We should be nice
to ourselves too…. We are all meant to be happy princesses. Someone extremely
close to me send me this and I would like to end my post with it.
Have a week filled with love, joy and gratitude.
Melanie
Melanie
